Please...

Dear Jesus...

Please save my Daddy....

Amen...

='(

Falling in Love, With Jesus, Was the Best thing I've Ever Done

Sooo my best friend got baptized today =) Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!! It's pretty awesome. Made me think about my own baptism. Both with water and fire. God is so awesome the way He does things. He can take something so broken and worthless, and turn it into something beautiful. That's what He did for me. It's so great that no matter what you do, He'll still be there!!

I just really love Jesus. I guess some people find it strange that I am so in love with Him, but why wouldn't I be? I mean, He came here and DIED for me. The fact that He loves me as much as He does, makes me love him so much more. Wow.. kind of in shock. Falling in love with Jesus really was the best thing I've ever done. I could never turn back to the way I was, I want to keep moving forward. I want to stop the sin that I've been dealing with. I want it over. Its hard though, sometimes. When you get so used to something and then decide to stop. I need to change. I'll figure this out =)

Lifeless

Taking deep breaths,
in a vacuumed place,
I am the winner,
in a stand-still race.
A love I hate,
A hate I love,
Fills my heart,
The tragic beauty
Of that dying dove.
Never say when,
For when you say never,
You give up life,
Forever and ever
Never giving in,
and always giving up,
Falling in love,
And then rising above.
Falling to pieces,
Silent screaming alway,
You never can tell,
When life fades away...

I will confess...

I don't know anymore...

I always do this..


Think what you will.
Judge as you wish,
But for not even one moment,
Believe that you are better than me.

I Know I'm Somebody 'Cuz God Don't Make No Junk.

So.. short blog...

I am not perfect.

Stop treating me like I pretend to be.

I make mistakes.

JUST LIKE YOU.

If you want to call me names over the Internet then I laugh at you.

You think your cool, but its really ridiculous.

However....

I am not a piece of junk.

Stop treating me like I am.

I am NOT someone that will appreciate your "opinions."

So keep them to yourself.

If you dont like me, then dont add me on social networks.

When you add people, they are called your "friends."

So if you don't like me, for some made up reason, dont add me.

Duh?

Yea...people bug me...

but.....

God is Great. Life is good, and People Are Crazy.

Heyya....

So here I am. God is good. =)

I really don't know EXACTLY what to talk about. I have so many thoughts floating around in my mind, and I can't seem to focus on just one.

Start with..........ladies conference.

SO i just got back from Ladies Conference this weekend. It was AWESOME. Sister Janice Sjostrand was AMAZING. I will never forget her. There were many things she talked about that touched me. She spoke a lot about Esther. This interested me, because I always loved the story of Esther and sort of "looked up to her." I thought,'Wow, I'd really like to be like her, and have God use me like her one day." However, I couldn't understand what the difference was between me and Esther. Sis Sjostrand cleared this up for me.....

Obedience....

Now... if you know me, then you know I am a very stubborn person. I like things to be done my way, and I don't like orders. Esther was obedient. She did what was asked of her. She was considered "lovely." SO now, I understand. That I need to stop. I need to stop and shut my mouth. I need to stop arguing with my dad, and I need to stop arguing with my Pastor, and I need to STOP arguing with my God. Because they LOVE me, and they are trying to lead me the way i should be going.

I also got to speak with her on the last morning of the conference. This service was difficult for me. It was a lot about mothers...My mother was not present at this conference. I also spent a lot of this service weeping over that fact. The devil has tried to trick me into believing that I cannot be lead in church because my own mother isn't there to guide me. I got to speak with Sis Sjostrand about this...and she prayed for me. After she prayed for me. I can't even begin to describe the feeling on my when she touched me. The presence of God just flows from her. WOW...I don't even know where to begin to explain it.. so I'm not going to try to... Sorry if that disappoints. She looked me in the eye...and told me to straighten my shoulders and keep my head up. She said that even though my own mother isn't here worshiping with me, YET, that I can find strength in the other women in my church. I have mothers and sisters and aunts right there with me. Women with far more experience than me. I can learn from these women if I open myself up to be taught.

There were a few women that came to my mind at that moment. one of whom I have privately thanked since then. This girl is probably my best friend. I doubt she thinks of me that way, but to me... she is my best friend. If I had been raised on the pew, she is like the older sister I could have had. She always seems so wise, and usually has great advice for me. If she can't give me advice, she will pray for me. I really do covet her prayers. I really don't know if she has any idea as to the capacity of which God has used her in my life. I love this girl. She is my Sister. I am so thankful that God let our paths cross.

There has been some drama lately too, but right now, I am content with this piece, and believe that I may write of it another day. If I don't, well then maybe I don't need to. Maybe the world could use one less blog filled with drama...I don't know. In a nutshell...

Boys are annoying, 99% of the time.
There's currently one that doesn't get on my nerves as much as some other ones.
There is also one that gets on my nerves more than any of the other ones.
These two seem to like to fight.
I feel like they're fighting because of me.
This makes me sad.
I finally snapped and told them both to stop and leave me out of it because I wasn't going to take it anymore.
This will probably be told to my Pastor, in more or less words all twisted up in a manner that it wasn't meant.
Then I will have to sort all this out, yet again.

Oh well. God is good and I'm Living Life and Loving Jesus. There's no better way to exist. =)
<3

Take Your Beating With A Smile =)

So... lately I've been taking a serious beating from the devil...but I WILL overcome in the Name of Jesus...I been sitting here thinking about what I'm going to say tomorrow when I testify... and I need to testify...I'm just not sure what to say.

Basically, I've been playing by the devils rules. That's such a bug mistake, and I refuse to be bound anymore. I am free because I was bought by the Blood of Jesus. If I continue to live my old life, then I let Him die in vain. this will not happen.

The strength God has put in before, He can put in me again. I'm trusting Him now. I need to. When I came up out of that water, I was a new creature. I know this, because the Bible tells me so. I do not have to live by my old rules. I am so so so thankful.

I mess up all the time. It's hard..because friends of mine here, that aren't in church, sometimes put me on a pedestal of sorts. Its hard to say if I like this or not. I do, because, then I have a chance to bring them to Jesus. I don't, because, I'm not perfect. I am human, and humans will always let you down. So when I mess up, then they look at me as if I'm a hypocrite. I never claimed to be anything other then a sinner saved by Grace.

So, this week. I made a lot of bad choices, that led to a lot of bad consequences. I even went as far as saying that I didn't want to attend church anymore. This isn't going to happen. I will not let the devil steal my victory yet again. He has taken too much territory and too many things in my life. I will not allow one more inch, with the help of God. I can't do anything without Jesus, so I trust Him to keep my battlefield protected.

I want to publicly thank Him for His Mercy, Grace, and Forgiveness. I am so excited to know that He knows who I am, and loves me anyway. No matter how badly I mess up, I can still run to Him and everything will be made right. All things work together for those that love God. I love Him, more than anything. So, I know this promise pertains to me. Thank You Jesus for Your promises, and Your Truth. Thank You for letting me experience You. <3


"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17