God is Great. Life is good, and People Are Crazy.

Heyya....

So here I am. God is good. =)

I really don't know EXACTLY what to talk about. I have so many thoughts floating around in my mind, and I can't seem to focus on just one.

Start with..........ladies conference.

SO i just got back from Ladies Conference this weekend. It was AWESOME. Sister Janice Sjostrand was AMAZING. I will never forget her. There were many things she talked about that touched me. She spoke a lot about Esther. This interested me, because I always loved the story of Esther and sort of "looked up to her." I thought,'Wow, I'd really like to be like her, and have God use me like her one day." However, I couldn't understand what the difference was between me and Esther. Sis Sjostrand cleared this up for me.....

Obedience....

Now... if you know me, then you know I am a very stubborn person. I like things to be done my way, and I don't like orders. Esther was obedient. She did what was asked of her. She was considered "lovely." SO now, I understand. That I need to stop. I need to stop and shut my mouth. I need to stop arguing with my dad, and I need to stop arguing with my Pastor, and I need to STOP arguing with my God. Because they LOVE me, and they are trying to lead me the way i should be going.

I also got to speak with her on the last morning of the conference. This service was difficult for me. It was a lot about mothers...My mother was not present at this conference. I also spent a lot of this service weeping over that fact. The devil has tried to trick me into believing that I cannot be lead in church because my own mother isn't there to guide me. I got to speak with Sis Sjostrand about this...and she prayed for me. After she prayed for me. I can't even begin to describe the feeling on my when she touched me. The presence of God just flows from her. WOW...I don't even know where to begin to explain it.. so I'm not going to try to... Sorry if that disappoints. She looked me in the eye...and told me to straighten my shoulders and keep my head up. She said that even though my own mother isn't here worshiping with me, YET, that I can find strength in the other women in my church. I have mothers and sisters and aunts right there with me. Women with far more experience than me. I can learn from these women if I open myself up to be taught.

There were a few women that came to my mind at that moment. one of whom I have privately thanked since then. This girl is probably my best friend. I doubt she thinks of me that way, but to me... she is my best friend. If I had been raised on the pew, she is like the older sister I could have had. She always seems so wise, and usually has great advice for me. If she can't give me advice, she will pray for me. I really do covet her prayers. I really don't know if she has any idea as to the capacity of which God has used her in my life. I love this girl. She is my Sister. I am so thankful that God let our paths cross.

There has been some drama lately too, but right now, I am content with this piece, and believe that I may write of it another day. If I don't, well then maybe I don't need to. Maybe the world could use one less blog filled with drama...I don't know. In a nutshell...

Boys are annoying, 99% of the time.
There's currently one that doesn't get on my nerves as much as some other ones.
There is also one that gets on my nerves more than any of the other ones.
These two seem to like to fight.
I feel like they're fighting because of me.
This makes me sad.
I finally snapped and told them both to stop and leave me out of it because I wasn't going to take it anymore.
This will probably be told to my Pastor, in more or less words all twisted up in a manner that it wasn't meant.
Then I will have to sort all this out, yet again.

Oh well. God is good and I'm Living Life and Loving Jesus. There's no better way to exist. =)
<3

Take Your Beating With A Smile =)

So... lately I've been taking a serious beating from the devil...but I WILL overcome in the Name of Jesus...I been sitting here thinking about what I'm going to say tomorrow when I testify... and I need to testify...I'm just not sure what to say.

Basically, I've been playing by the devils rules. That's such a bug mistake, and I refuse to be bound anymore. I am free because I was bought by the Blood of Jesus. If I continue to live my old life, then I let Him die in vain. this will not happen.

The strength God has put in before, He can put in me again. I'm trusting Him now. I need to. When I came up out of that water, I was a new creature. I know this, because the Bible tells me so. I do not have to live by my old rules. I am so so so thankful.

I mess up all the time. It's hard..because friends of mine here, that aren't in church, sometimes put me on a pedestal of sorts. Its hard to say if I like this or not. I do, because, then I have a chance to bring them to Jesus. I don't, because, I'm not perfect. I am human, and humans will always let you down. So when I mess up, then they look at me as if I'm a hypocrite. I never claimed to be anything other then a sinner saved by Grace.

So, this week. I made a lot of bad choices, that led to a lot of bad consequences. I even went as far as saying that I didn't want to attend church anymore. This isn't going to happen. I will not let the devil steal my victory yet again. He has taken too much territory and too many things in my life. I will not allow one more inch, with the help of God. I can't do anything without Jesus, so I trust Him to keep my battlefield protected.

I want to publicly thank Him for His Mercy, Grace, and Forgiveness. I am so excited to know that He knows who I am, and loves me anyway. No matter how badly I mess up, I can still run to Him and everything will be made right. All things work together for those that love God. I love Him, more than anything. So, I know this promise pertains to me. Thank You Jesus for Your promises, and Your Truth. Thank You for letting me experience You. <3


"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Job

So...everything sucks...yea pretty much....

Phone...stolen by a "friend."

Lied to by "friend" while having a panic attack.

Lied to again.

Reprimanded.

Kicked out of my house.

Fighting fighting fighting.

Harassed at school.

Wallet with everything someone needs to steal my ID in it...stolen...

Can I go to Heaven now?

Jesus I need You

Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

Okay...sooo I'm pretty sick right now...but i really just HAD to blog about this....

Alright, so you know, from the last blog, about this creepy guy that told everyone about some awful, horrible, mean thing that i said....well i found out what i did...when he walked in the door.. i said... are you ready for it?




"Oh, wow."

Yep, that's it..like..are you serious? I don't even know...

So yes...I must be the meanest person to walk the planet. It's just like...I can't believe that something like that could hurt him as bad as he's making it out to be...My opinion...it was to get attention, and make me look bad because he's angry at me, and for no reason, I may add. Whatever...If something like two words "Oh, wow" not even said to you, makes you cry like that, for REAL? Then you need to grow up...

I have now confirmed my suspicions that this guy is mentally unstable

Just Breathe.....

So my friend yelled at me because I haven't posted since January. I told her I would post, and I'm not about to make myself a liar, so here I am. Have you missed me?

I've been really busy with school and such. SOOO much has happened. A few guys have come and gone. Blah Blah Blah. I'm really boring. I know. Sorry.

I'm just dealing with drama right now. 2 guys have been a big deal. When i broke things off, one became a stalker, and the other went suicidal on me. I don't know...but its frustrating. I think God is just trying to teach me that I shouldn't be dating outside of the church. This is something I already know, but have ignored. Honestly, i don't think i will anymore...it leads to too many bad situations. God has rules for a reason.

One of the guys...I don't even know what to do with. We dated for like 2 weeks. It was pretty good for a little while. Things were going okay. He even went to church and was baptized and filled with the Holy Ghost. Awesome, but really, he turned out to be a bum, and messed up a lot of things and fled the area to live with a girl I'm pretty sure he met on myspace. Yay for him. Before leaving, he made sure to tell many of my friends how I broke his heart miserabley. Whatever. I pretty much made it clear that I didn't want him to be a part of my life until we both hit Heaven. I really hope he makes it, but I just don't want him in my life. Then, after not hearing from him in a few weeks. He shows up at Easter service. I was basically in shock, and decided that speaking to him may not be the best idea. So I left it alone, for then. Later, after service, I get a call from my Pastor. Apparently, he told my Pastor that I said something so awful and hurtful to him that he couldn't even explain. I had no idea what was going on. I told my Pastor the truth about what happened and left it at that. However, I guess that wasn't good enough for this guy.

Today, I get an email on www.mysapostolicnetwork.com from him asking me how I could do such a horrible thing to him. It hurt him so bad and he couldn't stop crying. I honestly have no CLUE what I did. I dont know what to do now. He hangs out around my college, even though he doesn't even go there. He makes me afraid. I believe he's mentally unstable. I do know for a fact that he's a pathological liar. He's lied to me and to my friends too many times to count.

I dont know. I'm basically at a loss right now. I'm seriously considering dropping out of my school after Spring, and moving somewhere to get away from him. I don't want to get a restraining order, because he DOES need church...and if i go there, then he could file me on entrapment charges. I'm so confused about what to do... All the time i either feel like crying or throwing up...

Im just trusting God with this. He knows where I am and promised never to give me more than I can handle...soooo I'm just trusting that He's going to bring me through...

Thought? Comments? Apple pie????