Just Breathe.....

So my friend yelled at me because I haven't posted since January. I told her I would post, and I'm not about to make myself a liar, so here I am. Have you missed me?

I've been really busy with school and such. SOOO much has happened. A few guys have come and gone. Blah Blah Blah. I'm really boring. I know. Sorry.

I'm just dealing with drama right now. 2 guys have been a big deal. When i broke things off, one became a stalker, and the other went suicidal on me. I don't know...but its frustrating. I think God is just trying to teach me that I shouldn't be dating outside of the church. This is something I already know, but have ignored. Honestly, i don't think i will anymore...it leads to too many bad situations. God has rules for a reason.

One of the guys...I don't even know what to do with. We dated for like 2 weeks. It was pretty good for a little while. Things were going okay. He even went to church and was baptized and filled with the Holy Ghost. Awesome, but really, he turned out to be a bum, and messed up a lot of things and fled the area to live with a girl I'm pretty sure he met on myspace. Yay for him. Before leaving, he made sure to tell many of my friends how I broke his heart miserabley. Whatever. I pretty much made it clear that I didn't want him to be a part of my life until we both hit Heaven. I really hope he makes it, but I just don't want him in my life. Then, after not hearing from him in a few weeks. He shows up at Easter service. I was basically in shock, and decided that speaking to him may not be the best idea. So I left it alone, for then. Later, after service, I get a call from my Pastor. Apparently, he told my Pastor that I said something so awful and hurtful to him that he couldn't even explain. I had no idea what was going on. I told my Pastor the truth about what happened and left it at that. However, I guess that wasn't good enough for this guy.

Today, I get an email on www.mysapostolicnetwork.com from him asking me how I could do such a horrible thing to him. It hurt him so bad and he couldn't stop crying. I honestly have no CLUE what I did. I dont know what to do now. He hangs out around my college, even though he doesn't even go there. He makes me afraid. I believe he's mentally unstable. I do know for a fact that he's a pathological liar. He's lied to me and to my friends too many times to count.

I dont know. I'm basically at a loss right now. I'm seriously considering dropping out of my school after Spring, and moving somewhere to get away from him. I don't want to get a restraining order, because he DOES need church...and if i go there, then he could file me on entrapment charges. I'm so confused about what to do... All the time i either feel like crying or throwing up...

Im just trusting God with this. He knows where I am and promised never to give me more than I can handle...soooo I'm just trusting that He's going to bring me through...

Thought? Comments? Apple pie????